So here we are..

The move is complete. We found a nice house in the country, but not too far from what we need. The kids are happy and the house is almost situated. It is too bad that since the move we have had to make almost $1000 worth of repairs to J's Jeep, I managed to break my laptop, and now we are going to have to replace the air compressor in my Jeep. Why, oh, why does everything happen at once? Big girl is so nervous about starting school. At least we have a few more weeks before she does have to stop.

New plan of attack

After speaking to three different realtors and realizing we are going to lose our ass if we sell at this point, we decided to go the rental route. All of my hard work researching and talking to realtors is out the window and now I am back to square one. I am so tired. I barely sleep because of worrying about all of this. At times I feel like I can barely function because of the lack of sleep. I am surviving on Coke right now. At least J. will be home this weekend. We have 20 days until our pick-up. Baby Girl is going to stay with the inlaw while we look for a house in Ga. We may let Baby Boy stay with them too. I don't know how I feel about this. At least my class is over for right now. I am not too sure when my next one starts, but I do know it is before the move. I just hope the new instructor is reasonable.

Emotional

So what, yes I am a little emotional J. I am sick and tired of having to deal with all of this shit alone. Yes, I do understand it is not your fault. I do understand you wished you were here, but guess what, you are not! I am feeling overwhelmed. I asked you to do one thing, please call one of the potential realtors. Just ask him if there is any chance of negotiating our realtor's fees. That is it, pretty simple. Nope, I guess not. I understand you don't get out of class until 5. Guess what, that is 4 our time and you will be calling realtor's cell phone. It is so damned hard for me to attempt to talk to anyone on the phone. I have Baby boy either yelling at me, begging me to let him to talk, or demanding I get His Highness whatever he desires. I do not feel like negotiating while I have an unruly 2 year old on my leg. Forget walking outside to talk. He will destroy the house in .5 seconds flat. I cannot do it during his nap because he will hear me talking and want up.I do realize it will take me 5 minutes to walk outside to see what crap the pick-up guy needs to get. I am very sorry I have not had that time to walk outside. You do not have to make me feel like I am stupid because of this. I know we need to decide on a realtor. I am sorry I am making my education a priority right now. I am very sorry I have a test to take and a paper to write. I guess it is my fault for not doing it this past weekend, but I did manage to get 3 rooms cleaned out. I could just say fuck it and tell you to take care of it when you get home. You have already made it painfully clear you will not have any time to do this in when you get back. We have got to get a buyer, like yesterday! I am tired. My head constantly aches. I cannot sleep because when I do lay down my head spins full of ideas and thoughts about what I need to do. I feel sick to my stomach constantly because I am tired and a nervous wreck. I am sorry I have cried while talking to you on the phone. I am sorry you don't think I can handle things, but guess what, I have NO fucking choice. Just remember, when all this is over with, I will have a break. I am so sick of hearing about how bored you are and what movie you went to see, or where you ate dinner, or how many drinks you had at the bar. Your time is coming....

FML

I just discovered that not only do I have to write a post discussion and 1000 page essay, I also have to take a final exam. All this while packing up the house and making it show ready. I have managed to pack up the kidlets' rooms and cleaned their carpets. It is just too bad all the work I managed to do in the kitchen and living room last weekend has completely become undone. I still have my "Monica closet". I still have to pick a realtor and sign the contracts and have J.'s orders rewritten because they have the wrong damed rank on them. I didn't notice that until the transportation guy pointed it out. I am averaging about 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep per night. I am exhausted. I am tired of dealing with all this shit. I am tired of being the one who has to fight with the kids. I had an epic fight with Big Girl on stuff that needed to go yesterday. She wanted to talk to daddy so I let her call him. Of course he gives me shit about having to referee us from Mo. Baby Boy has wanted to follow me around and undo my workings all weekend. And the crowning glory of it all is I think both kids and possibly me are getting sick. While all this is going on at home, I get regular updates from J. about how bored he is and how he is going to see a movie, or go hang out at the bar, or go to dinner, yada yada yada.

Bittersweet

We are gearing up for our move. We have been talking to realtors and cleaning out the house. It is bittersweet. This is the city I have fallen in love with. This is where we bought our first home and where our little boy was born. This is also the place where J. and I separated and went through one of the lowest points of our lives. Big girl loves her school and her friends but understands we have to move. This is all Baby Boy has ever known. B.G. was baby when we moved the first time and much older when we moved for the second time. We will be near family and the beach. This is where we have made great friends we are going to have to leave behind and where I actually finished college for the first time. So much has changed in these last 4 years. Our daughter started school for the first time and our baby boy was introduced into this world. I am sad to go, but anxious for the future. I cannot wait to see what lays ahead for us. Things seem overwhelming right now. There are so much stuff to do before we move. I have started getting the house ready to show. Now we just need to choose a realtor and get moving. We have 32 days before pick-up.

Well, the time has come..

We discovered we are indeed moving. Great, wonderful, let's go. The problem, you may ask?? We only have around 6 weeks to get everything done and J. won't be home from school until the first week of May. We have to report the first week of June. This means I have to take care of everything I can before he comes home. I have to set up the movers, clean the house out, get someone to redo our tile grout, hopefully find a new house, talk to realtors, and the list goes on and on, where it stops no one knows. Big girl isn't happy at all. I know she is going to miss her friends. I hate having to move her, but it comes with the life. I am so tired that I don't want to think about anything and I haven't even started. My eye literally twitches. The house is nowhere near ready to be sold. There is so much little stuff that needs to be done, and our housing market still hasn't come back up. I guess I need to get jumping.

I guess I should update

Since it has been almost 6 months since I have posted anything. Things are so much better. J. finished warrant school last month and is leaving this week for the second phase of his ed-u-macation. Sweet baby girl is loving school. Her first soccer game of the season was today. She was incrediable. She ended up playing her favorite position, goalie. She had at least 10 saves. Baby Boy's diaper ended up coming loose and he piddled his pants. I had to miss the last quarter. We are gearing up for another 5 weeks alone. I am not looking forward to it, but I am excited to find out what will be in store for us next. We are either leaving or staying. Hopefully we will know in the next week. Baby boy is more distructive than ever. He has learned he can climb up the cabinets to get to things on the counter. He pulls out the oven drawer to stand on and climb on the stove. He is loud and rambunctious. He hates the stroller, but refuses to hold our hands. He loves to run away when we are not looking and is too fast. He is my sweet little boy that drives me bat-shit crazy at times. I am in the middle of finishing my BS online. I have maybe 10 classes left. I am not completely sure what I want to do with the degree when I am finished, but at least I will have it.

I want to thank you lovely ladies who commented on my other posts. I hope you see this. I promise I did not intentionally ignore your kind words. They do mean a lot. It is uplifting to read kind things when it seems like you are at the bottom. Thank you.