Funny Shit

It must be because it is almost 130, but I think I peed a little when I saw this critter.


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I feel sorry for whoever has to feed his fat ass.

You learn to cry in silence

The kidlets and I drove 15 hours this past weekend, to be with J., who is in the states taking care of something for work. Leaving home, I knew I would have to say goodbye again. The drive was worth it, even though we stayed only two days. Baby Boy was great with him. At first he was a little shy around him, but warmed up quickly. I was afraid he would scream as soon as J.touched him since it has been so long since he has seen him. All I needed was to see him, to feel him laying in bed next to me. Laying there that night, it hit me, we would have to sayby again, and how hard it would be. I don't want him to see me very upset. He has too many other things to worry about other than me. We didn't tell Big Girl we were leaving, until the day we left. Honestly, not much was planned. We jumped in the Jeep and hit the road. I didn't even know when we were going to leave. After we told her, she just kept sayin how much she is going to miss him. All weekend she was latched to him. It is so heart wrenching. I'm just happy we left at night so she didn't see me. I do let her see upset to a point, but I hate letting her see me when he leaves and right after he leaves. I do know how lucky we are to be able to see him. I know some families may not even see their soliders once during a deployment. He will be back in a few weeks for his leave. I am grateful for this trip. There is nothing that would have stopped me from seeing him this week.

The trip itself was not that bad. Baby boy did great. He had his moments, understandably. Oklahoma really needs to restructure some roads. I ended up having to get off the interstate on a dirt (no shitting you) road to get to the highway. On the way back home, B.B. had a few more moments. Part of the interstate was closed due to a massive wreck that caused a 2 hour detour. As soon as I took the exit to our house, the road was closed. Having that exit closed just summed up my entire trip, lol. When we pulled up to the house my fat cat come running from somewhere. I have no idea how long he had been outside of our fence, but he was very excited to get into the house.

Always something huh?

After our whole heating debacle, we are left kind of low in the fundage area. Of course my power cord on my laptop decides to stop working today. Off we go to Best Buy, Circuit City, Wal-Mart, Radio Shack (where I almost got into a fight) and then back to Circuit City to get a new one. $95 later, my computer works, but now I feel sick having to spend that much money. Hell I could have gotten a brand new computer for $398, lol. Big Girl decided to show her butt and throw a tantrum when we come home between CC and Wal-Mart so she could have lunch and Baby Boy could nap. That means no nap for him. He is increasingly grumpy. It is 6:00 and he is now asleep in my lap. Dinner is going to be late and microwaved at this point. My computer situation wouldn't be so dire if it wasn't for the fact that I am enrolled in a class and I have an assignment due on Tues. J. decided if I "really" want to drive to see him, we should try it. I would leave like last night, except for the money issues. Between the heat, the cord, and finding out somehow we have been a month behind in our vehicle payment for over a year, money issues have been stressful. I know how lucky we are abou not having to worry about layoffs, firings, and whether the next paycheck will come. I just want to bury my head and go to bed for a week.

What else wants to happen

Around 1 am last night I discovered I have no heat. That was only because baby Boy's room was cold when I went to put him to bed. I come downstairs to turn the heat up and nothing happened. I looked at my temp. gauge we have, 66 degrees. I turned my thermostat up to 90 and I could hear the heat running but no air was flowing. I take Baby boy to bed with me and Big Girl ends up in bed with us because of a bad dream. Her bed was actually better than mine. She has a brand new thick down comforter that is warmer than mine. We get up and it is 56 degrees. We run out to Wal-Mart for heaters and a CO2 moniter. Of course Wal-Hellz is out of COs mon. Off to Home Depot we go, all unwashed (too fucking cold), B.B. still in jammies. We get home, he is grumpy. I let him take a nap, and after venture down to the depths of our house to check the furnace. The thing doesn't have a pilot light like I had hoped and I could not find the filter. There was spider webs all over the place. It took me 5 mins to get up the nerve to actually move down there. So now I have to call an HVAC guy to come out on New Year's day to anally rape me, oops, fix my furnace.

I get Baby Boy ready for bed and snuggled up. His little head is burning up. I take his temp. under his arm and it is 102.8, nice. I gave him some Tylenol and unzipped a couple of layers. He is asleep now. No other symptoms other than being a grump all day long. I guess we are heading to the ER tomorrow if there is no change. I have a feeling I'm going to have to cancel my appointment with my finacial aid advisor on Friday.

What to say, what to say...

This has been one of those weeks I wish I could just sleep through. Nothing profound happened, just the same ol', same ol'. Only I wish J. was here with us so badly. I knew how it would be when I signed on for this "job" but it does hurt. The tree is up, the gifts are wrapped and I know I have to be happy and positive for the kidlets. We just found out he won't be coming home a little early for R&R like we hoped he would be, so that was another blow.

Yesterday I found out my grandfather had a massive stroke and possibly will never come out of his coma. What is so horrible about the situation is I feel nothing. Nada, zip. I'm numb. When I get the call that he is gone I will feel the same. This man did nothing but drive my grandmother away from her family. He made her choose between him and us, she chose him over her only daughter and granddaughter. It is a long drawn out story that I won't get into here. I have seen them once in 14 years. That was because I had a momentary laspe of stupidity. When my Granddaddy was in the hospital I decided they should meet my then 3 month old daughter. At the time I was very emotional. I was dealing with undiagnosed post pardem depression and the stress of not knowing how my Granddaddy was going to be. When my grandfather opened the door he didn't recognize me. My grandmother was downstairs in the basement. When she come up to see me, she looked surprised, but not emotional, to see us. She showed little emotion over meeting her Great-granddaughter, whom she didn't even know about, for the first time. When I left, my grandfather followed me out to the car. The only thing he had to say to me was that I needed to get my mom over to the house. He wasn't going to be around forever and my grandmother needed her to take care of her. He then let me know that she needed to come over because when they are gone my mom will get everything. I haven't seen them since. She just found out about my little guy yesterday when my mom met her at the hospital.

I hate myself for not feeling anything about a family member passing. I don't know why I am posting this anyway. I want to cry for him, but I can't. I feel bad for my grandmother. She isn't in the greatest health and will have to either live alone or attempt to sale her house. She will expect my mom to help her.

I'm grumpy!

That is it. That pretty much sums up my day. I spent all last night moving furniture. I guessed since it is how many day before Christmas that I should put up the tree finally. I started moving furniture. I think I may have found Jimmy Hoffa's hideout under my couch, but that is besides the point. I started picking up some of the clutter and tried to put it in my Monica closet. I realized I have no more room. With all my furniture in the middle of the room, I started cleaning out my storage closet. I found my box of pictures. I had to go through them. Long story short, I gave up getting the living room straight, by promising myself the minute I got up this morning I would finish, at around 2:30. After being asleep all of 5 seconds, Baby Boy decided it was snack time. I think I racked out about 3:30 to be awaken to Big Girl and Baby Boy playing in my bed about 7:30. I tried to convince him he needed to go back to sleep, with somewhat good results. B.G. played in her room. B.B. wakes up crabby. I spent all morning listening to him bitch at me about everything. He takes a nap, in my lap, as always. I realize I have not only not wrapped my parents gifts, but I haven't loaded the pictures onto their SD cards. That takes me forever. I finally make it to the post office about 2 to find it closed. I had to use the kiosk while the kidlets enjoyed the echoing of the post office vestibule. Off to Walgreens where B.G. decides not to listen to a damn thing I say and B.B. tries to jerk everything off the shelves and won't keep his shoe or sock on. i had no less than 4 people stop me to ask where his shoe is and "oh, his poor little foot is going to get cold". I really wanted to say, I know. That was my plan, maybe his foot will freeze and fall off, that way he might slow down some. We finally make it home and I take my ass out into the freezing cold to drag in the Christmas tree and ornaments from our storage building. B.B. screams the entire time I'm going there. I get it all in and am now suffering from 3rd degree frostbite. He decides he needs another nap, B.G. wants to watch cartoons. I am now trapped in my chair and being tortured by Spongebob, her new obsession. He wakes up after about an hour or so. I start dinner, to him screaming. While doing that I put up the tree. I have to move furniture yet again. I move our floor lamp, where me being the genius I am, doesn't think to remove the glass light cover. The lamp tips over while I'm struggling to wiggle it by the wall and the couch. The glass hits our mantle and shatters all over the floor. He chooses this time to want to come into the living room. He screams until I get it cleaned up. I get the tree up, while he continues to scream, and half the damn side isn't lighting up. We eat. I'm not feeding him fast enough. He screams through dinner. I get him ready for bed, baby girl takes a bath. He decides he isn't tired anymore and wants to play. He pulls hair, hits face, shoves his binky in my mouth, all for the sake of not sleeping. It is now 11:00 and he has finally crashed. I still have to figure out what is going on with my tree and get the kitchen cleaned. I'm tired, I am grumpy, I just want to crawl into bed; which is now covered in clothes that I got started folding, but he decided he was tired of my room and started screaming, yet again. I give my poor tree 2 days before A). Baby Boy pulls it down on himself or B). my fat ass cat climbs up it, gets stuck, and brings it down to the ground.

Fuck it, I'm going to bed!

Why is it I feel like going on a week long bender after going to the grocery store.

It is almost like a switch flips in my sweet baby boy's mind. From the time we walk into the store he starts screaming and trying to pull things off the shelves. He starts grabbing at the tags on the shelves. Big girl seems to think she doesn't have to listen in the grocery store. I am dragging both of them up and down the aisles, one is screaming at the top o his lungs the other is agravating the crap out of him. One man actually stopped me to ask if it was his binky whisling at such a high pitch, one octave higher and only dogs would be able to hear it. I try to do this when Big Girl is in school, but that doesn't always happen. I get to the freaking end and they are out of the fucking veggie trays that I promised to take to Big Girl's class party. So that means I have to go to Wal-Mart in the morning. It will be the 3rd time I have drug my big ass up there. Walking into Wal-Mart makes my fucking eye twitch. As soon as I put Baby boy in the Jeep he was out. He didn't even make a sound when I unbuckled him and took his pants off. He took the liberty to leak through his diaper at some point in the adventure. Now he is in his bed, completely asleep with his jacket on and pantsless.