You learn to cry in silence

The kidlets and I drove 15 hours this past weekend, to be with J., who is in the states taking care of something for work. Leaving home, I knew I would have to say goodbye again. The drive was worth it, even though we stayed only two days. Baby Boy was great with him. At first he was a little shy around him, but warmed up quickly. I was afraid he would scream as soon as J.touched him since it has been so long since he has seen him. All I needed was to see him, to feel him laying in bed next to me. Laying there that night, it hit me, we would have to sayby again, and how hard it would be. I don't want him to see me very upset. He has too many other things to worry about other than me. We didn't tell Big Girl we were leaving, until the day we left. Honestly, not much was planned. We jumped in the Jeep and hit the road. I didn't even know when we were going to leave. After we told her, she just kept sayin how much she is going to miss him. All weekend she was latched to him. It is so heart wrenching. I'm just happy we left at night so she didn't see me. I do let her see upset to a point, but I hate letting her see me when he leaves and right after he leaves. I do know how lucky we are to be able to see him. I know some families may not even see their soliders once during a deployment. He will be back in a few weeks for his leave. I am grateful for this trip. There is nothing that would have stopped me from seeing him this week.

The trip itself was not that bad. Baby boy did great. He had his moments, understandably. Oklahoma really needs to restructure some roads. I ended up having to get off the interstate on a dirt (no shitting you) road to get to the highway. On the way back home, B.B. had a few more moments. Part of the interstate was closed due to a massive wreck that caused a 2 hour detour. As soon as I took the exit to our house, the road was closed. Having that exit closed just summed up my entire trip, lol. When we pulled up to the house my fat cat come running from somewhere. I have no idea how long he had been outside of our fence, but he was very excited to get into the house.

Always something huh?

After our whole heating debacle, we are left kind of low in the fundage area. Of course my power cord on my laptop decides to stop working today. Off we go to Best Buy, Circuit City, Wal-Mart, Radio Shack (where I almost got into a fight) and then back to Circuit City to get a new one. $95 later, my computer works, but now I feel sick having to spend that much money. Hell I could have gotten a brand new computer for $398, lol. Big Girl decided to show her butt and throw a tantrum when we come home between CC and Wal-Mart so she could have lunch and Baby Boy could nap. That means no nap for him. He is increasingly grumpy. It is 6:00 and he is now asleep in my lap. Dinner is going to be late and microwaved at this point. My computer situation wouldn't be so dire if it wasn't for the fact that I am enrolled in a class and I have an assignment due on Tues. J. decided if I "really" want to drive to see him, we should try it. I would leave like last night, except for the money issues. Between the heat, the cord, and finding out somehow we have been a month behind in our vehicle payment for over a year, money issues have been stressful. I know how lucky we are abou not having to worry about layoffs, firings, and whether the next paycheck will come. I just want to bury my head and go to bed for a week.